Well, we tried out Anaconda and finding a job forced us to move to Spokane. We tried out Spokane and the snow made us (well, at least me) re-think that plan. After a lot of discussion, we’ve decided to head back to Florida.
At first, I saw this as a great big fat failure. I mean, we planned on starting a new life in Seattle and never made it there. It was one disappointment after another. We had the van break down in Missouri and then again the very next day. Renting that U-Haul and the two extra hotel nights really depleted our funds. Not just depleted them but took away from the money we had planned on using as our first-last-security money for our new place.
We thought that we could make things work in Montana. We had a place to stay and the scenery was beautiful, but there was no work for us. We were living in what used to be a prosperous mining town that had closed up shop well before we got there. Plus, the school system was, well, let’s just say… not up to par (and I’m being very polite and generous).
We headed further west and had high hopes. We were at least getting closer to our original destination, right? The schools were a definite improvement and Norby found a job right away. There wasn’t a lot going on for me and my newly acquired degree but other stuff was available. Then, it snowed. Having lived in Florida my entire life did not in any way prepare me for driving in the snow (loving the colder weather though…a lot).
I did a little bit of driving in the snow when we were in Anaconda, but the speed limits there are 25 and 35 mph at the most (even through the main stretch in town). Over here in Spokane, it’s an entirely different story. I tried to convince myself that I could handle it. I told myself a million times that people drive around here all the time. I reminded myself that my sixteen-year-old nephew just got his license and was doing just fine. But then I would imagine myself behind the wheel and would feel paralyzed by the thought of doing it myself.
I’m not alone. There are others around here that won’t drive in snowy conditions. However, to get us over to Seattle means I would need to be working full-time…and driving to and from work. I just can’t do it. I had to make a decision to not beat myself up over it. After all, we specifically talked about moving to Spokane and decided not to because of the snow.
So…now what? Well, we thought about saving up some cash and continuing our trek to Seattle. However, what if things didn’t work out there? We would have absolutely nothing to fall back on. I have friends there but they certainly don’t need to rescue me, right? I needed to come up with a new plan that would work even if it didn’t. Does that make sense?
Basically, what I’m saying is that we are heading back to Florida.
Like I said, I could look at this as a big fat failure. However, a good friend of mine gave me a new perspective to see it from – it has been an adventure. We’ve been to places that we had never been to before. We’ve seen and experienced things that we had never seen or experienced before. Now…we’re heading back home with a fresh perspective and a renewed purposed to pay more attention to the things we took for granted.
Now, I’m not saying that I’m going to enjoy the ridiculously hot weather because I won’t. I’m not looking forward to the melting that will be occurring when I get back there. However, I will not let myself get caught up in the same stupidity that I had before. I will not pretend to like things that actually played a part in driving me away from there. And I will do the things I need to do…some of which I neglected when I was there.
I know that’s a bit vague, but that’s okay for now. I’m just saying that I plan to go back but I’m not the same me. No, that’s not it. I’m still me, but I’m not going to go back to re-create the same existence I built up over the years there. I’ve learned a lot about myself over the past four months and I know I can do this right. That’s the new plan.